DONE: No. 36 - Llanfairpg Cream Cracker Challenge and Talking Welsh

Challenge No.36 : Llanfairpg Cream Cracker Challenge - the one which nobody had a clue about!   Looking at loads of other birthday challenge lists there are tons of things which crop up time and time again on everybody's lists.   Indoor skydive, Velocity zipwire, run a 5k, climb over the O2, bake cupcakes, go on a Segway - these are all things that we're all trying.  What you don't see - EVER - is the Llanfairpg Cream Cracker challenge.  This is mine, this is personal, this is bonkers!  Or, as Stewart has said, this is actually puerile. But do I care - do I heck!!!

So, Lllanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch - it's the longest place name in Europe, second longest in the world beaten only by one place name in New Zealand.  It's actual meaning is Saint Mary’s Church in the hollow of the white hazel near the rapid whirlpool and the Church of Saint Tysilio of the red cave. So now you know!

I'm going to intersperse the written part of this blog with each of the three videos I made, pronouncing this place name in a different 'way' each time. This, the cream cracker version.

I've lived in Wales for nearly 5 years now, but having met Stewart (who is actually from Pontypridd in the valleys) 24 years ago, I've actually had that Welsh connection for some time now.  But, I can't speak Welsh.  Well, I know a few words.  A very few words - mostly garnered from driving on roads and through towns so - ARAF - slow, GWESTY - hotel, DIM PARCIO - no parking.....You get the gist. And then that absolutely mythical place, a bit like the Scottish Brigadoon - GWASANAETHAU - this is the place or town in Wales that you actually never, ever reach.  Why - because GWASANAETHAU in Welsh actually means 'services'.  You'll always have another one in front of you. 

Folk are often absolutely terrified of the Welsh language because of the seeming lack of vowels - however, the Welsh language actually has 7 vowels - A, E, I, O, U - W and Y!  And it also has 28 letters.  Confused!!!????  Well, I'm not a linguist, nor a Welsh speaker so I'll stop this lesson now in case I'm wrong and I offend.  The gist of the story - it's bloody hard to figure out!  But, I've tried in a tiny way.

Just before I moved to Wales I decided that it might be an ice-breaker if I could learn how to say 'Llanfairpg' in the correct way.  So I broke it down phonetically and tried and tried, and believe that I managed it, maybe, perhaps.....  For this challenge though, it wasn't enough just to finally visit the place, though I've wanted to for such a long time, but I wanted my own Lesley twist.  This video, my second attempt - the gargling version:

Below are a few of my favourite 'perhaps' Welsh words - though I do accept that for all there is debate whether they are genuine or not - it would be great if they all were:

1) Microwave - 'POPTY PING' - there is a general consensus that is real, or at least should be real, even though as far as I know the actual word is 'meicrodon' which is actually just as fun.

2) SMYWDDIO - which would be pronounced - smoothio - apparently the Welsh for ironing!  Again, it's difficult to discover whether this is urban myth or not.  I'd love it to be true.

3) PYSGOD WIBBLY WOBBLY  - now pysgod is Welsh for fish, the rest you can pretty much imagine, put together makes 'JELLY FISH'!!!!  Now, I think I do know that this word is urban myth but it's cracking urban myth and better than the real word - sglefrod.

Anyway, after building up confidence on every platform of Llanfairpg - basically there was nobody about, we'd managed to miss the coach loads - this final version, my slightly Scottish version, is probably my most relaxed effort!

So, hope you've enjoyed this challenge.  Probably the most bonkers, most individualistic, but I SO terribly wanted to do it.

DONE: No.43 - Big Zipper Challenge

Woo-hoo!  Another week, another feeling that I'm flying.  This time we headed up to north Wales to Zip World at Penrhyn Quarry, Bethesda.   Not only, at one mile in length, is this the longest zip wire in Europe, but reaching speeds in excess of 100 miles per hour this also happens to be the fastest zip wire in the world. 

Arrived early at the quarry to register, and the first thing you have to do is get weighed!   Kind of traumatic and I was a wee bit heavier than expected but it wasn't too bad.    Your weight is written on your wristband and determines whether you need flags to be attached to slow you down, or weights to be added to speed you up.  I needed neither.  Your weight also determines whether you're going to need to open your arms out to slow you down at the end.  I was fine, didn't need to which was good as I was unsure I'd be able to remember in time to stop me crashing into the finish line.

Yet again this was an activity requiring a seriously sexy boiler suit - not! Helmet, goggles and harness put on and I was ready to go.

Once you're all kitted up you start a small climb up the quarry to visit the 'little zipper' which basically gives you a chance to experience what is going to be happening but on a smaller scale. (In actual fact, and something I've only found out, this zipwire is still 3rd longest in Europe - who knew!  Not me!)  It's also supposed to build your confidence.  For some reason, the thought of this experience wasn't actually freaking me out.   Don't know why.  Can only think it was because I wasn't actually expected to do anything, so couldn't screw anything up myself.  You are completely in the hands of other people and have to trust in them.  The only thing though was at the Little Zipper I realised that I do still struggle with my shoulder - I'm really happy with the movement I've gotten back it's nowhere near 100%.  So, when they ask you to put yourself in to a press up position I did panic a little, cos I can't do that.   I sort of ended up a bit skew-whiff and on my elbows but they helped me out and didn't laugh at the crazy uncoordinated lady.

So, this is the video of my first go, so glad and thankful that Stewart is being an amazing 'wing man' and also that he has a great camera that he is not afraid to use!  By the way, I'm the one on the left.

There were 10 in the group in total but only two 'individuals'.  Myself and a lovely young man called Jay. I was really thankful I wasn't the only solo person as it meant I didn't have to spend the entire feeling like 'Johnny nae mates'.  Because folk in general want to do these things together it made sense that me and him paired up as a flying team.  It also meant I had somebody to talk to when we began the exceedingly bumpy and ever so slightly uncomfortable journey right up the quarry in a wee red jeep thing. 

So, up we all trundled in what was really the most shoogly, bumpy journey ever and possibly worth it as an experience in itself!  When we got to the top of the quarry it was only really then I realised - crikey, this is 'high'!  This is seriously high up!  500 metres up actually.  Although it was July it was incredibly windy - they'd actually had to turn folk away for being too heavy to ride in these conditions.  It was so windy we couldn't hear the guy giving us the next briefing so had to go in to a wee hut to shelter.  

Me and Jay were the third pairing to go down so I texted Stewart to let him know we were about to go.    Getting in to position was exactly the same up here, the only difference is, me and Jay swapped sides for no actual reason.   In what was about to happen I don't know whether this was lucky for me, or not!    So, off we went, about to fly at 100 miles per hour down over a slate quarry a mile long.  I  was determined not to scream, nor to swear, so when the countdown went on and they sent me off with an 'enjoy your trip' I did the loudest and longest 'wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' I've EVER done.   This was BWIIIILLLLLIIIAAANT.

 

 

The pic above was actually from my favouritest bit. When you start to build speed, the quarry just seems to disappear from below and you are flying over the clearest blue lake.  It was cracking fun.   There is another video below, this time I'm the right hand flyer.

 



 

 

Really was a great experience, a real adrenaline rush when you start picking up speed.  The closer you get to the end of the line the more you 'feel' how fast you're going.   You hit the end with a right clatter and then have to grab on to a big stick and eventually they are able to pull you down.  Unless of course, you are Jay, and chose the left hand side!!!!!  He apparently started off just as a huge gust of wind got behind him and he accelerated soooo fast that as he approached the end he was still seriously flying so he missed the hook to grab went straight to the end and went 'pinging' back up the way!   To get stuck about a hundred metres from the end, where he dangled for about 10 - 15 minutes!  Happily, when he got down he said he'd LOVED it.  I was actually a bit jealous it hadn't been me. 

 

So, all in all this a great and incredibly fun experience.



DONE: No.44; Indoor Skydive

The day after I climbed up and over the top of the O2 we went to the I-Fly centre in Basingstoke for my indoor skydive!  To date, this is definitely the best thing I've done this year and this comes as a total surprise.   When I included it on the list and booked it, I started regretting not actually just going for a proper skydive - though I've now decided I'll look into doing a tandem skydive after this list is completed.

So, this centre in Basingstoke, you arrive, you sign a risk assessment form, you meet your instructor, watch an instruction video, learn some hand signals - straight legs, bend your legs, smile and relax, and chin up!   You get given the groovy flying suit, then goggles and finally your helmet.  Is it a cool look?

Four of us were booked to do it at the same time and I was going to be going last so it was good to be able to see how the others did before it was my turn.  I'd booked for two 'flights' - the first time it was good just to get a feel of it all.  The only slightly scary bit is the 'leap of faith' when you are standing at the door of the tunnel and told to just drop forward - and you float!!!!

The instructor(s) are in with you the whole time and make adjustments and make sure you don't go too high, initially, or crashing to the floor.    I enjoyed my first flight and when we'd all had our first go we were offered the chance to upgrade to the 'high fly'.  Well, why not!   In for a penny......this second flight was intense!   I think the average wind speed for a normal go is 90 miles per hour, for the high fly they increase this to 150 miles an hour.  Below, and hope it works - is the video for my high fligh!  Enjoy.

DONE: NO. 26 - Climb over The Top of the O2

Task No. 26 - Climb Over the Top of the O2 done and  dusted.  A sweet thing to do, not actually scary, not challenging, just nice.  I was however hoping that the weather would have been nicer and we'd have great views over London.  Wasn't quite to be on this trip though.

Arrived ahead of my allotted time and was able to start sooner which was good as Stewart came with me and he didn't have to hang around for as long we'd thought.  I'll be saying thanks to Stewart many times over the next year as he's basically chauffeuring me and being my 'official' photographer and to be quite honest, without his backing and support I wouldn't be able to do half of this. 

So you book in and get geared up.  I actually thought I'd be wearing a boiler suit so didn't think about 'clothes' hence the granny cardigan.  Turns out you only get the boiler suit in the colder months - in the warmer months you get given a gilet.  You also have to wear climbing shoes - I wasn't sure for why to begin with but in the end it actually made total sense. I have to say though - the harness bit which you have to fasten really tightly - serious wedgie!!!!  Once on, don't even try to bend down.

So, eventually when you are all geared up you walk up a staircase to the start of the climb and although it does look quite steep it's absolutely fine.   Having already been up Pen Y Fan and Snowdon, this really isn't a climbing contest in the least.  I'm unfit amd HATE inclines but I didn't get out of puff once.

The cracking - but frustrating - bit is that you are walking up a seriously bouncy walkway.   And I LOVE bouncing.  Seriously love bouncing on things.  But, in the 'elf n safety' briefing you are told that  'tho it is tempting to bounce, we're all adults please don't bounce, that's what children do. And we're all adults and not children'.  DAMN -  not happy - I SO am a child!

Anyways, we started off on the climb.  It's damn bouncy, the shoes they give you have amazing grip so that was seriously appreciated, the actual climbing was a piece of 'p' the only slightly difficult thing was feeding your 'prisoner ball' through each of the latches but it was all sweet.

Didn't take long at all to get to the top of the O2. Piece of cake, though even although it was July the weather was rubbish.  My Mum apparently thinks this was some kind of hat or hair piece, though obviously, it's just my own hair - blowing in the wind.

The views were 'OK'.  One of the reasons to do this is that I spent what?  5-6 years living in the east  of London (Ilford) in the 90s and actually saw the 'Millennium Dome' being constructed.  We watched it going up, we visited it in 2000 when it was just the Dome and from then on I've watched how they've transformed what was actually a folly into an international concert venue   Me personally, I've been to see Carmina Burana, Neil Diamond and then the best - two Ennio Morricone concerts. 

Anyway, at the top you have a wee bit of time to spot landmarks and views mostly of Docklands and Greenwich - to be honest, you'll get better views if you use the Emirates cable car! Insider information!  I think overall though this is probably still worth it.

Timber the Guide - Volunteering with Guide Dogs

So, 'Timber the Guide', a very Welsh expression.  Even although 'volunteering for guide dogs' wasn't actually an item on my list, it could have been.  Before I started on this 50 before 50 malarkey I read through a ton of other folks birthday challenge lists, and one very popular item is to sponsor a guide dog. A very worthwhile thing to do of course and I'm in no way knocking that. But as a challenge?  Try making the life changing decision to truly get involved.  Even though our first tenure as volunteer boarders came to an end this week I believe it has been life changing.  We SOOOO want to do it again. And hopefully we will.   It was hard, and on Monday when he left us, it was heartbreaking.  But would we want to do it again - in an absolute heartbeat.

So why, in a blog covering things I'm doing directly related to my birthday list have I all of a sudden included a post about a dog - albeit an exceedingly special dog, called Timber, the Guide.  Well, when I said goodbye to him on Monday I pretty much realised that he has been such an integral and important part of this task list.  He has been helping me almost as much as Stewart has so this to acknowledge his efforts and to say thanks.  By the way, I'm completely aware that some of these efforts are tenuous to say the least.  But, they still count.  So in no particular order I would like to acknowledge Timber's unwavering contribution to my 50 Before 50.

No.7: 50k/miles of walking 

 

Timber came with us on the first of my walks which will make up the 50 miles.  I'm calling them the Weatherman Walking walks cos of a Welsh legend Derek Brockway (an iconic (?) weatherman who wrote about a series of hikes he did in Wales and I'll be following them).  This walk was in Newport and followed the 14 Locks Trail.

No.8: Climb Pen Y Fan (highest point in south Wales)

Stewart and Timber pretty much walked up mountains for a laugh.  Every weekend.  Before I was even up out of bed. However, Stewart and Timber encouraged me to get this task completed fairly early on, so one early Saturday morning, in April, mission accomplished.  Timber - on top of the wooorld.

No.9; Compete in 50 Pub Quizzes

One of our regular quizzes is the Sunday night Wetherspoons quiz.  Basically since he came to stay with us Timber has been a regular competitor.  Our team name is the Richard Dawkins Appreciation Society but it's only just struck me that perhaps we should have been the Richard Dawgins Appreciation Society.  Crap joke I know....By the way, Timber, as a member of a quiz team was pretty useless.  His knowledge of Greek mythology, US geography and phobias was really crap to be honest.  But, all the other teams seriously loved him and know they'll miss him.


No.11: Take part in a dog walk with at least 50 other dogs

This was actually the first thing I got to completely cross of my list.  It was a huge charity dog walk in aid of Hearing Dogs for the Deaf.  We'd only had him for a couple of weeks by then so it was early days of getting to know him.  My main memory from this was realising the sense of fun and madness in him and how much he relished rolling in sh*t and jumping in ditch water!

 No.15: Volunteer at the Welsh Velothon

Don't have much evidence of how he helped me when I volunteered to be part of the Velothon Wales so you'll just have to trust me.  He was instrumental in me completing this task.  When I volunteered, I read all the notes and guidance and followed them to a T.  One of the things they asked was, due to the road closures, and due to lack of parking up Caerphilly Mountain, please could all volunteers walk up.  So I did.  And it nearly killed me.  If it hadn't been for the encouragement of Stewart and Timber, I'd have given up and gone home.  As it was, I think I was the only velonteer who walked up - the rest all went bugger this and got lifts up.  Still this was an achievement for me and Stewart and Timber even came to meet me at the end of the day to escort me back down the mountain. Ta very muchly!

No.30: Grow Strawberries, a sunflower....anything

Oh yes, this is my gardening task.  One which is still ongoing.  To be honest, as far as Timber's intention of helping me goes - it was pretty questionable.

He tried to help by digging.  If he'd dug anywhere else, I wouldn't have been best pleased!

No.49: Get 50 Selfies with people met along the way with these challenges

Think he's earned his right to be part of the selfies challenge.  If you've read this far you'll understand what a support and star he has been.  I'll miss him :(

DONE: No.15 - Volunteer At the Welsh Velothon

Sunday 9th July 2017 I spent the day as a 'velonteer'.  Love the name.  I was basically a volunteer for the Velothon Wales.  A killer cycle ride of 140k which includes two seriously hard climbs, the Tumble and Caerphilly Mountain.   They expected a total of 18,000 riders to take part and I volunteered to be part of the support crew based at the feeding station on top of Caerphilly Mountain!

Quite honestly, this was a day of two challenges tho only the velonteering role appears officially on my birthday list.  The first, unofficial challenge,  to get my butt up to the top of Caerphilly mountain before the race begins.  They close all local roads for the day of the Velothon and they asked us velonteers if possible to walk to the top of the mountain.  I've been in Wales now for nearly 5 years and have so far managed to avoid the need to walk up the mountain, but on Sunday, uh oh....Thankfully Stewart and Timber somehow go up the mountain every weekend just for a laugh so they very kindly escorted me, encouraged me, took the piss out of me when I cried I couldn't do it anymore and basically cajoled me to the top!   I feel that in this pic Timber is quite honestly laughing at my sad unfit ass.

But, eventually, after much blood, sweat, tears and oaths we saw the sign which meant I was nearly at my signing on point.

Didn't know exactly what my job was going to be for the day, nor if there would be many other velonteers but do you know what, this turned out to be one of the most buzzing enjoyable days of my life. Even though it was freaking hard, full on work.  The team of velonteers were brilliant, all enthusiastic, all there to pull their weight and to be part of a team and it was brilliant.  To begin with right enough we had to be read guidance about what to do in the event of a terrorist attack - which was basically to run full pelt back down Caerphilly Mountain - but quietly please.  Fair enough, this sort of advice sadly has to be given out these days.  Anyway, ignore this bit and move on to me being assigned a cracking cool t-shirt - bright red and simple.  And pretty much the reason I signed up for this in the first place!

I was going to be part of the water feeding station.  From watching marathons over many years I thought this would just mean calmly handing over wee bottles of water directly to the athletes.  For the Velothon, nope, not quite.  By the time the cyclists get to the top of Caerphilly Mountain they have already done around 120k, have just ridden up a mountain and arrive in front of you in varying states - cool, not so cool, to quite tired, dreadful, absolutely knackered - to being on the verge of vomiting!  I'm not joking! So our job was basically to be opening thousands of 2 litre water bottles, filling up the big vessels, filling up jugs and actually, just going to the cyclists as they dismounted, taking their water bottles and filling the bottles up for them.   Loads at this stage were either complaining of cramp or you could full well see that they were suffering so we also had salt tablets at hand as well as energy powders and gels we could offer.  Kind of felt like a mixture of being a tea lady, a counsellor and a medic.

Everybody I met on the day was an absolute sweetheart - they were all so appreciative and such gorgeous people.  I felt very maternal!   These guys - and gals - not only are testing themselves physically and mentally but they were also raising hundreds of thousands of pounds for charities.   My brother-in-law completed the Velothon last year bless him and raised something like £2,500 for charity.  Incredible, so anything the velonteers can do help them it makes sense!  You're not likely to find me on a bike so this is a way of joining in.  To give you an idea of what the feeding station looked like - though by the time this picture was taken it had gone totally quiet and the majority of the 18,000 had gone through already.

Doesn't quite give an idea of what it was like when we were busy - but when it was busy it wouldn't have been appropriate to stop and take photies.

Eventually, towards the end of the afternoon all the amateur charity cyclists went through and then we had to await the arrival of the pros.

Once these guys passed through we had to dismantle the wee gazebos, pack up the tables and the tents and the extra bottles of water and bananas etc etc and the biggest surprise of the day - we were all given medals and water bottles as a thank you!   I only expected the red t-shirt but I'm telling you now, there's not a lot I won't do for the chance of a shiny, shiny medal!   I had no idea that Stewart was taking these photies, but even he admitted he was laughing his head off when he could see how excited I got. Kind of insinuated that I barged my way past the other velonteers to get my medal but surely I wouldn't be so crass.   All in all, I absolutely loved this 'task' and have already decided that this is definitely something I'll repeat next year.

STARTED: No.7: 50k/miles of walking - No.1 of Weatherman Walks - Newport 14 Locks

Greetings on a superbly sunny Sunday afternoon here in south Wales.  After a seeming hiatus I am happy to report that I have actually been keeping things going with this list even though it has seemed quiet for a while.

Task No.7 - 50k/miles walking (in total or a one-off challenge to be decided) has been seriously testing my imagination.  50 miles over the period of a year really isn't anything, is it?  I probably walk 50 miles to and from various pubs over a year so I had to come up with some way of making this more meaningful.  So I have!  Derek Brockway - or 'Derek the Weather' to those who know him is a national treasure - in Wales.   As well as being a weatherman he also did a serious of programmes 'Weatherman Walking' where he hiked all over Wales.  He also wrote some books about these walks to go with the TV series.  So, to make things interesting I'll be doing as many 'Weatherman Walking' hikes over the next 12 months as I can. Some of the distances may seem short, but, because this is Wales, they mostly involve bloody inclines (don't mind distance but I HATE hills).  So, I'll be sharing loads of glorious Welsh countryside with you over the next year.

Today's hike:  Weatherman Walking Number One, was the Newport 14 Locks walk.

An absolutely glorious walk along a hidden canal in Newport which used to have 14 working locks.  It was part of the Monmouthshire Canal, built to transport coal and iron from the valleys down to Newport.  So an industrial place, but not that you'd have noticed this today. The walk actually takes you close to, and under the M4!.

Total mileage:  3.7 miles, 2 hours to complete and as well as me and Stewart and Timber, Mam came along too.

The dodgy thing taking a dog near a canal and water is that, of course, he's going in at some point!

 

We walked along the towpath for a fair bit, went up a few hills to an area known as 'little Switzerland' and the views over the Sirhowy valley were lush.  All in all, apart from having to chuck Timber over a couple of stiles which weren't dog friendly, and inadvertently having to hack our way down a path of overgrown bramble plants, it was a cool and gentle introduction to the Weatherman Walking hikes.