The Ultimate Challenge I Didn't Want and the 50 Reasons I Loved My Mum and Dad

So, once again, after another unexpected hiatus, hello there my friends.  A lot of you will know, some maybe not, that I, and my brother, recently faced one the ultimate challenges any 'children' can face in life.  In just under 8 short weeks we lost both of our beloved parents, my Dad on December 17th 2017 and my Mum, on February 10th 2018.  Both of them, unbelievably, passed away after having suffered sudden, and completely unexpected, massive heart attacks.  Devastation, disbelief and absolute grief does not even begin to describe how we, and our families, feel right now.

However, they would be the first ones to ask that we carry on, and strive for fulfilled and happy lives.  They were the best, most adorable parents any child could ask for and from the moment we were born, myself and my brother have felt nothing but unquestioned, undeniable love and support from both of them.  I could write an entire book just about their lives and what they mean to us.

But.  This blog is supposed to be about my 50 Before 50 Birthday challenge, something I came up with almost one year ago already.  I never in a million years would have predicted to find myself in this current situation.   One of the first 'challenges' or 'tasks' I put on the list was to come up with '50 Reasons I Love My Mum and Dad'.  Initially, I considered doing this last, I thought it would be a lovely 'thank you' to give them on the occasion of my actual 50th birthday.  A birthday present back to them almost.  Thankfully, I made the decision to have it as one of the first things I could tick off, and boy, am I so incredibly thankful I made that decision.   When I first wrote about this task on my blog I described that I wouldn't share the list as it was personal and probably wouldn't be at all interesting to anybody else anyway.  Now, I do want to share it.  It might give people insight into just what an amazing pair they were and why I feel the depth of sadness I do right now, but now this list actually brings me such an amount of comfort and happiness when I think back over the years.

Sorry this is a loooong, post, but, it feels good and cathartic to get this off my chest.

So, here it is:

1. You gave me and Tommy the perfect, happy, fun and secure childhood
2. You have always been there for me
3. You let me pad about independently, far and wide, from actually quite a young age. I think that's what has given me the resilience and independence to do things on my own
4. You never said no to dreams. You always made it seem that anything can be achieved (if achievable).  You have only ever been encouraging and supportive. Never any negativity or 'what do you want to do that for?'
5. You never let background stop me from dreaming or hold me back
6. You came to all to those dancing displays
7. You came to all those concerts
8. You went to all those Guiding services just because I wanted you to seem me carrying flags
9. You let me use your Goldbergs card (Mum - and a big Glasgow department store)
10. I loved Tuesdays when you had your day off and we had burgers in a sesame bun at lunchtime (Dad)
11. I loved when we went to the Copper Kettle for tea and cake when we were out shopping (Mum)
12. You bought me comics every week
13. You took me to the library and encouraged us to read books
14. Your way of booking holidays and accommodation was/is legendary!  It was always exciting (Dad - he never prebooked anything, we'd turn up at a British holiday destination and only then look for somewhere to stay!  We didn't have a car!)
15. One of my strongest very early memories is of you balancing on rocks in the Sunken Gardens in Blackpool (Dad)
16. I so enjoyed our day trip to Edinburgh to go and see Les Miserables
17. ...and our trip to the O2 for Neil Diamond (Mum)
18. Our holidays were always funpacked and memorable and happy
19. You went round museums and castles on holidays when you could have been sitting in the sunshine
20. You came in to the bus station with me every single freaking Sunday for an entire year (Dad)
21. I appreciate the way you taught us not to pre-judge anybody but accept people for how we find them ourselves
22. My birthday parties were awesome.  Going to Nash's for invites, table covers and paper cups was a highlight of each year (Mum)
23. Your Christmas 'displays' of presents were amazing (Dad)
24. I'm STILL convinced you told me you were a suffragette and wrote on a slate in School - I'm sorry but I LOVE it.  (Mum - this argument between us has run for over 40 years)
25. You made me go to dancing classes and I DID enjoy when I got there
26. You gave me unwavering support and love through years of depression
27. You suffered greatly when I was a complete bitch for one year in DC Thompsons and still loved me
28. I love the fact that for 30 years I've always had Dad specific phone calls
29. I sincerely appreciate the way you brought us up to believe and know that the world is an interesting place and to get out and about and 'do' things
30. I loved our collusion when Tommy had kidney stones and you had to keep it from Mum - sorry Mum
31. I love the way you told Mum that the Burnside had phoned you about a 'stamp collecting exhibition' when it was actually about her surprise birthday party
32. I loved how much you enjoyed that surprise party and didn't batter us (Mums 70th)
33. I adored all the times we spent up at the golf club and you never even knew I was drinking out the 'drip trays' when I was seven
34. I appreciate the way you taught me I can say most things 'as long as I say it with a smile' (Mum)
35. I loved being taken out to the Berni Inn for birthday and your anniversary meals
36. I still laugh at the memory of going in to Millers and you asking for sticky back plastic and the assistant was clueless (Mum- Millers was a Glasgow art shop and we wanted to make something from Blue Peter)
37. I adore my memory of sitting in the wedding car sharing a cigar and swigging whisky from your hip flask (Dad)
38. Thank you SO much for buying my wedding dress
39. I'm sorry for all the times you came to visit me in Dundee and I made you sleep on the floor and you never complained
40. I love the way you drove Stewart up the wall when he realised that it was you playing the harmonica (Mum)
41. Thank you for letting us lick the cake mixture off the spoon when you were baking (Mum)
42. I appreciate the way you brought us up to accept all people and not have any prejudices
43. You have always let me witter on incessantly abuot anything and everything
44. I love remembering about how we smuggled you both in to Belmont Halls after my 21st birthday part and all of my friends were happy to help
45. One of my favourite things was going to the SNO Proms and going for a fancy crepe and not knowing how to work the cafetiere
46. ...and going to Café Gondolfi but not realising how small an espresso would be....(Mum)
47. I loved it when you were folding sheets and I was still little enough to be swung in them like a hammock
48. I hope I have inherited your ability to get on with everybody
49. I'm so proud of the way you have, at the age of 80, gotten your own Facebook profile (Dad)
50. I always enjoyed our 'Christmas Eve's' traditions of going to Princes Square

AND ONE FOR LUCK

   51.  I LOVE YOU BOTH FOR JUST BEING 'YOU'

Crikey, typing this list out once again and the tears are streaming down my face, a mixture of sadness, and happiness.   I am definitely carrying on with this year of challenges, I'm now way off schedule unsurprisingly, but, I'll do my damnedest. They were my biggest supporters and hopefully I gave them a few laughs over the last few months.

Mum, Dad......love you both always to the moon and back.